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I feel compelled to say something. This is something that’s been weighing heavily on my mind, and it gives me no pleasure to say it. However, I’ve finally come to grips with the fact that our beloved Jack the Bulldog has sold out.
This sellout didn’t happen overnight. You might remember at some point in the 2017-2018 season, Jack rode out onto the court in a remote controlled jeep. It was pretty baller. However, the next season, he ditched the Jeep and traded it in for a Toyota. It’s the kind of move that makes sense if you’re starting a family.
What really grinds my gears though is that the trade-in wasn’t because Jack had a young litter to care for and therefore wanted a practical car. Rather, it was merely an opportunity to advertise for Jim Coleman Toyota.
If you haven’t noticed it already (but how could you not?), there’s a big-ass “JIM COLEMAN” logo on his windshield. It’s horrible for safety purposes (and he’s liable to get a ticket if he takes that out on the road), but also, we ditched the skateboarding for this? A driving billboard for Jim Coleman Toyota? I don’t know the fine folks at Jim Coleman Toyota, and I’m sure they’re wonderful people, but they’ve abetted in the desecration of our dear Jack.
Ultimately, the blame chiefly lies with the Athletics department for selling Jack out to be an ad like he’s a “2 for $1” deal on shriveled hot dogs at some 7/11 in Paramus. The “new” Jack sold out quicker than a MSB freshman at an accounting services career fair.
What happened to the halcyon days of Jack skateboarding? It was always an adventure to watch: sometimes he’d stay on the skateboard, sometimes he’d decide to hop off and do his own thing. It was that heady drama that kept hungover college students on the edge of their seats waiting to see what would happen.
Now our Jack has been subjected to being a corporate puppet. I hope Jim Coleman, whoever he is, and the Athletics department are happy. Although it wasn’t an immediate jump from the skateboard to advertising, ditching the skateboard for the driving ad is on the list of worst Georgetown ideas somewhere between hiring Craig Esherick and closing the bar in the basement of Healy.
At the end of the day, I’m just sad that Jack the Bulldog sold out for Big Automotive. At least he seems to be resisting now.
